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A decade ago, I would have believed this dream was a vision from God. A vision showing me His Truth, reaffirming His view on purity and sex. Now, I understand it as a projection of inherited fear and my own lack of self worth.
Continue readingAt one point, I remember you offered me a six-week program that you had designed, in which I could mourn my loss of love. One designed for women with “same-sex attraction”. A program through which I could express grief over the fact that I would give up my ‘desire for a romantic relationship’, and find joy in the Jesus I was being presented with. I think it was supposed to be cathartic?
Continue readingYouth group was an incredibly gendered time in the mid 2000s. It was the age of Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and the idolisation of friends who saved their first kiss for their wedding day. It was also the age of gender-segregated talks on purity.
Continue readingI hear the word submission and want to scream. I see women engaged at 18 and am horrified. I can no longer read Christian books or digest Christian thinking because I can no longer see myself as someone who can ever fit that mould– nor will I try to.
Continue readingI have been speaking to men and women, both in the church and no longer, about their experiences of singleness. Turns out, it’s not just 19-year-old Ruby who would have been disappointed by her no-one-on-the-horizon status in her mid-20s.
Continue readingI never questioned my sexuality as a teenager. To be honest, I didn’t know my heterosexuality could be questioned. Being gay was a choice influenced by Satan, and my choice, as a God-fearing young woman, was to be attracted to men. As I moved through the currents of teen-hood and into adulthood, I wondered whether this would remain true were I raised in a gender-neutral household, where assumptions about sex and gender were not upheld. While my liberal-Christian parents did…
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